Selects: How Forgiveness Works - Stuff You Should Know Recap

Podcast: Stuff You Should Know

Published: 2026-01-10

Duration: 59 minutes

Summary

Forgiveness, once primarily a religious concept, has been shown by scientific research to provide significant psychological and health benefits. This episode explores how forgiveness functions, its evolutionary roots, and its impact on both individuals and social groups.

What Happened

Forgiveness has historically been tied to religious teachings, but scientific interest in the topic began to grow in the 1980s. Researchers have focused mainly on the benefits for the person who forgives rather than the offender. Forgiveness is not about condoning the harmful act but rather about letting go of negative emotions, which can lead to significant health benefits, including lower stress levels and reduced risk of chronic diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes.

The episode discusses the story of Chante Mallard, illustrating the immense power forgiveness can have. Mallard hit a man with her car and left him to die. The victim's son later publicly forgave her, demonstrating the emotional release and strength forgiveness can bring to those who have been wronged.

On a biological level, both revenge and forgiveness are seen as having evolutionary advantages in social groups. While revenge can signal to others that exploitation won't be tolerated, forgiveness helps preserve important social bonds. This duality suggests that humans are evolutionarily predisposed to employ both strategies depending on the social context.

Forgiveness is a deliberate process, rather than an immediate shift from anger to peace. Fred Luskin, a prominent psychologist, describes forgiveness as giving up all hope for a better past, emphasizing the importance of moving beyond grievances. This perspective underscores the idea that forgiveness is more about freeing oneself from the burden of anger rather than absolving the offender.

The REACH model, developed by Everett Worthington, outlines a structured approach to forgiveness involving Recall, Empathy, Altruistic gift, Commit, and Hold. This model highlights that forgiveness can be taught and cultivated, even in those who have grown up in environments where forgiveness was not practiced.

Interestingly, studies reveal that religious individuals often self-identify as more forgiving, but in practice, they may not forgive more readily than non-religious people. This suggests that forgiveness is a complex behavior influenced by various factors beyond religious beliefs.

The episode also touches on the controversial idea that forgiveness is not always necessary and can even be harmful if given too quickly, such as in cases of spousal abuse. In some situations, achieving peace does not require forgiveness, and individuals should not feel pressured by family or religious expectations to forgive.

Key Insights